the road are not taken

it's almost 6.30 in the evening,i am completely sleepy and dizzy,yelah asyik depan laptop je.but,i feel like i have to say something.


it's about my future.


yeah,maybe this is normal for pre dip graduates (graduates?) like me to feel lost after receiving their results but,frankly i don't have any plan for my future.wait . .i actually do,but im afraid if it will not work out later,and yes,i still do think that this is normal for a teen like me.


i used to be a mahasiswi now,im facing the truth.im afraid because in me,i still feel like a schoolgirl.budak sekolah yang skema.haha,i did apply for universities,UPSI althought im the UITM student. actually my passion is to be a nurse.instead of studying,i wanna jalan2.i did do a little survey about applying nak jadi nursing tapi,im not sure im fit to be a nurse .interview.gosh,im dying to go but,guess what?im not even 18 y.o. yet,=='


so i guess,i should be more brighter,and to be more brighter i've to get diplomas or degrees (im still blank about the stages here) because i ,as a girl have more responsibilities later on.i gotta do i what i gotta do,i need something permanent,something yang boleh secure my future.nanti kang dah tua,takdak pulak duit kitak.,hurm. .so,i tekad nak further studies dulu smpai degree kot. even bru pre dip


i really want to choose something that is not what students usually sign in for,you know,like being a doctor, accountancy or an engineer.for me it's not who i am,i hate wires and all because they make me mad.crazy mad.tangle here lah,tangle there lah,apa kaitan aku ni?jeez.tp.....


bila tanya ayah mana course yang bagus,of cos lah dia ngoyak doctor,or something like that.yeah,the payment is high,but i got no fun doing it.mengarut jelah aku peteng2 ni.haha,aku macam berbelah-bagi.nak pilih yang aku suka ke or nak pilih yang parents aku suka,because they always know what's right and what's wrong.


i don't want to be that person who's,in ten years,meeting his friends at his school reunion party,looking like crap.


i really do want to further my studies dekat universiti,genggam ijazah dekat dalam tangan.make my parents proud.aku dah pun apply dekat UITM untuk diploma ni,banyak juga course aku pilih. .malas lah nak cakap kat sini,haha.ponek nak menaip haa,,mato den dah mengantok.tapi apa-apa pun,i really want to belajar,


insyaallah i'll be there for diploma studies... :)